Hail the controller

Over the years I have played many different games on a variety of devices, whether it's been on PC or console, from tapes to CDs, I've been there for them all. As we have progressed through the 'technology tree' these devices, although mainly consoles, have altered the controllers with which we play. 

After looking back at some of the controllers of 'yester-year' I have noticed just how much they have changed. Starting with a typical joystick used for PC gaming all the way to the console controllers we use today. And gone are the days of wrapping wires only to find that after a while the plastic coating splits and you find yourself desperately trying to find the other one. My thoughts are mainly on older controllers for the consoles that take cartridges (younger readers may get confused at this point). 

After looking back at some of them I have come to realise that the developers of the past must never have seen human hands before, the controllers always seemed to have extra handles to hold or too many buttons to operate without using your toes as well as fingers. Some consoles got it right, giving us three buttons on the right, usually operates using your thumb and a D-pad on the left, again your thumb was ample to operate. But then they went and made the casing in the most bizarre shapes, although it looked practical when first picked up it was near impossible to hold comfortably. And now, 'wands'. 

The 'wand' controller was a good attempt at making gaming a bit more of an active experience. An infrared (or similar) sensor would track the movement of it meaning you would have to phyisically move to play the game, good idea right? Not really as most of the gamers soon discovered that you could play to exactly the same extent by simply flicking it up and down from the comfort of your armchair. 

Keeping to the same kind of design some consoles have got it right, keeping the same amount of buttons, a sturdy and well crafted design and nicely spaced controller. However as the technology advances the consoles want to try and out do PC games, which usually offer a bit more of extensive control with use of both keyboard and mouse (would you look at that a control system that works), but in order to do that they must add extra functions. So shoulder buttons were added and extra buttons under the usual 'diamond' on the right hand side. In addition to the D-pad, 'sticks' were added, then they could be pressed down for additional functions. So as the world of gaming progresses we seem to be regressing to the days of old, misshapen controllers with too many buttons, when will the controller madness end and will we all be driven to PC gaming because of it, only time will tell...

A bit too soon.

I seem to be finding myself looking into customer service on a regular basis. Today's thoughts are on the service we receive in restaurants, although the same thing has been commented on by near enough every comedian that has walked this earth. "Is everything ok with your meal?" Is prime comedian bait. 

Usually that question or one of a similar nature is asked when you are about halfway through your meal, this normally occurs when you are halfway through chewing on a steak or painstakingly trying to shovel food into your mouth with chopsticks, the latter usually ends with food flying everywhere as you lose your grip. 

Over time I have noticed that the question gets sooner and sooner, but the other day I think the waitress that bought our food may have made a personal best. Placing the food on the table she left and returned with our drinks seconds later, then the words slipped out. I sat staring at my untouched plate and wondered how I should know. A million witty comments raced through my mind, but because I'm British only one thing could come out of my mouth, "yes, lovely thank you."

Unless something's seriously wrong with the food we never say anything else, instead we keep quiet and smile, only to get home and leave reviews on websites that nobody every really reads. Although I must point out, the meal was exquisite...

A long time to warm up...

Queueing, one of the many things us Brits are good at. However I do find its little unusual that we spend time waiting patiently and when we finally get to the front on the queue we get an apology, lovely, how kind. Then comes the explanation of why.

I've heard many explanations over the years but today I may have found my favourite. The machine, powered by electricity, something that grants instantaneous power to the thing connected to it, is still warming up...

I'm pretty sure that numerous fans are fitted to the machines we use every day, purely to keep them cool, so they function properly. If you are going to make up excuse as to why things aren't working properly at least use the proper terminology, machines power up or boot up. 

On a side note, I'm aware it's Boxing Day but if you are going to work on a holiday it is not great customer service to spend most of the transaction tutting and sighing about everything...

Good Tidings

With Christmas just around the corner I have been thinking about what this time of year means to me. For many people it holds religious significance, others it's about family and friends and for some it's about greed, granted the latter is mainly 10 year olds who haven't learned the meaning of Christmas yet. 

For me, although not celebrated to a degree in the UK I find myself thinking about how thankful I am for what I have got and how happy my life has become. Everybody's life isn't filled with sunshine and rainbows, so my thoughts this festive time go out for those in need and those less fortunate than myself. 

I have seen hardship in the past, not to its worst but there have been times when I've felt lost and alone. But with the support of my family and friends I found myself again. Granted they may not have known they were helping me, but they were. 

So for this entry I would like to dedicate it my family and friends (old and new), who have always been there for me when I needed them most. Thank you...

In A Bleak Midwinter

Today marks the winter solstice or 'midwinter'. Or at least it is for the northern hemisphere. It seems to me to be a forgotten holiday, celebrating the longest night and knowing now that days will gradually get longer. 

The solstice itself is only a moment in time making almost impossible to pin point. But I still think it's worth celebrating. At least now we know that the days are getting longer and the nights are getting shorter. We are halfway out o the dark and I'll drink to that...

A little bit of self advertising

A little push can go a long way, but I've always wondered how far a little push can go. According to blogger I have several readers from around the world, whether they find this blog interesting is beyond my knowledge. 

So to the point, I have a facebook page and a Twitter account, both can be found from the links below, or if you really like what you read then show monetary support on patreon.

Www.facebook.com/Anirregularview

Www.twitter.com/Anirregularview

Www.patreon.com/Anirregularview 

A little help can go a long way. So let's start this little social experiment...

A Bad Reputation

Today I find myself sat outside a supermarket, while watching the world go by, I notice a pest control van parked just over from me. Now as far as I understand all food based establishments will have pest control devices in place, usually in the form of poison traps. This I have no problem with, my problem lies with the van itself. 

The idea of having the traps is a 'just in case' procaution, normally they never get actived and remain tucked out of sight. Every month or so, a representative from the company supplying them will come and make sure they have not fallen into disrepair, this could be general wear and tear or accidental damage. I imagine that this is for one of those checks.

As I said, my thoughts are with the van. Surely most people would see it and think there is an issue, possibly even putting them off going into the establishment, this could cause a substatial loss depending upon the amount of people swayed by the presence. A good solution would be to use a van without the company logo and/or slogans all over it. However I also understand that advertising is important.

So my advice is this, if you do see vans of this nature, ignore them, it's most likely just a routine checkup. And if there is an issue, well, they're there to sort it out...

Sleeping Solutions

Every night we go to sleep, not really giving much thought to the process. But every now and then we lie in bed unable to get comfortable, so we spend ages attempting to get into a position that feels natural. 

Personally I usually start off with my arms crossed across my chest, I call it 'the vampire' however most of the time I find it very difficult to drift off in this position. This is usually followed by 'the roll', a vague attempt to get comfortable by switching from on my back, to the side, on my front and to the other side, only to find myself back in the same position I was originally. It's usually at this point I start to curse my arms as every move I make they are either underneath me or in an unnatural position. Then I usually spend five minutes thinking about a mattress with holes in, so you could lie on your front and dangle your arms through. Although I would imagine that this would solve the issue, it may cause additional ones if you are a restless sleeper and turn over in the night, or if you have monsters under your bed...

Nine times out of ten though, the old faithful comes through, what I call 'the Egyptian'. I usually end up with my arms and legs sprawled out in different directions resembling that of an ancient Egyptian hieroglyphic, this gives me a nice restful sleep and I hope that you find it does too. 

Disclaimer: do not try 'the Egyptian' if you share a bed, while you may get a restful sleep, your partner may not. This can result in bruising...

Thoughts On Fried Chicken

A while ago, back in my college days, I raised a concern with a few of my friends. Something strange seemed to happen whenever we had fried chicken from a popular fast food restaurant. The food was always hot and delicious, so there was nothing wrong there. But it always made me drowsy. For years and years I had forgetten about this and yet still avoided those particular fast food establishments, until yesterday...

Picture the scene if you would, it's 5pm and fried chicken is being eaten, a night of film watching is planned and a lengthy discussion of what to watch has been had. The chicken in question was a 'bucket' containing a mixture of breast, thighs and drumsticks, there were 'fries' and onion rings on the side. After around 15 minutes the chicken was put to one side as we had gorged ourselves on all we could. I could not tell you what film we watched nor how it ended as I soon found myself watching the credits rolling up the screen. 

Now, what I don't understand is how this happened, I was perfectly awake and prepared for an enjoyable evening. My only explanation is that the 'secret ingredient' that goes into making that delicious fried chicken is some form of chloroform. 

However, this theory of mine, even if slightly bizarre, will not stop me doing it all over again, although next time I think I'll put the film on a little earlier. Good night...

Dear Mr Mcfly

This year saw the passing of 'Back to the Future Day', the day to which Marty McFly traveled forward to from 1985 in the film 'Back to the Future'. 

Many people celebrated this moment in film history by watching all three films in the series back-to-back, myself included. However the main question raised was this, "why don't we have hover boards now?" Presumably somewhere in the world there is a working prototype of hover technology, similar to that in the film. There is also a train which runs on magnatised rails and uses electromagnets to power it along, causing it to seemingly float along the track, presumably this gives a more comfortable ride. 

So ladies and gentlemen, if you want hover technology then simply magnetise a surface and get yourself some electromagnets. Simple...ish...

Not So Secret Santa

Ok so the idea of this blog was originally to put out fresh ideas I've been having out for review and criticism. However I've now decided it is also going to be a source of vented frustration. 

It's coming up to Christmas and workplaces across the country are abuzz with people doing a 'secret Santa'. Now usually there are a few rules, like a price limit or whether the gift has to be thoughtful (as much as everyone loves getting a gift voucher every now and then, a £10 gift card for 'Blacks' stores is not that great if you're not the outdoorsy type). But the main thing is that it is secret, the clue is in the name 'SECRET Santa'. 

So please, if you are doing one in your workplace, try working instead of spending your entire day asking "who have you got?".

End...

The Sob Story Route

So, I might sound a little heartless here but I'm fed up of hearing sob stories and people go through "bad times" from people entering competitions and the like. 

You always hear it on talent shows on the television, I understand that it's heartbreaking and that life is hard, but surely, the whole point of the competition to find talent, not to see who can get the most sympathetic votes from a nation of people who have nothing better to do on a Saturday night than sit at home and watch people make fools out of themselves to the whole country. 

Don't get me wrong though, I get that these people need a break or help or sometimes just someone to hold, but that is not what the competitions are for. 

Hopefully my future ramblings will be a little more light hearted and not so cynical. See you soon...

The Introduction Nonesense

I have found over my life that I have often looked at things in a different way or come up with strange theories which could explain the unexplainable.

This is where I shall share them. Although many, if not all, of my ramblings could cause controversy and may be easily disproved, I still wish to share them. 

Amongst my strange ramblings will undoubtably come moments of sense or tangents down a different line. Essentially any thoughts, questions and ideas I have will probably end up here.

So, if you're still here, well done and I hope you enjoy what follows...